•December 18, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Passive Aggressive Letters to Persons and Entities Unlikely to Respond (McSweeney’s, I’m just biding my time)

To the Oregon Teacher Standards and Practices Commission:

Dear TSPC,

Can I call you TSPC? Are we on those kind of terms? I feel like we are. You’ve been on my mind more often than not for the past four months.

What’s that? You don’t see how it could possibly have been so long already? You and me both, dear.

August 14th. I remember it well. I had moved home only 3 days prior. I had lovingly prepared a manilla envelope with all my important documents, and monies, to renew my Oregon teaching license, and that was the day that you said you had received them. I assumed that it might take a couple weeks to process, and so I waited, somewhat patiently.

Remember, I moved without a job. And I hoped to substitute until I found something more permanent. Funny twist being that I discovered that I couldnt apply to be a sub without a current license. And no administrator or district is going to expedite that process unless they are hiring you. So you see, you held all my hopes in your hands.

So I waited.

And waited.

And checked in a few times.

I tried to call. You didn’t answer. I waited on hold for more than an hour one day.

I tried to email. You answered- to tell me you had received my email and didnt know when you’d be able to get back to me.

You were updating your website with the date of materials you were currently processing. When I started looking, that was a date in mid-June.

You tried to explain that it wasn’t me, it was you. You added a link called “Why is TSPC taking so long to process?” I feel for your being understaffed and overworked and under-appreciated (most teachers can), but as the month wore on, I started to realize just how long this process might actually take. And that I wouldn’t be able to teach, or sub this year. I had to adjust my expectations, to protect myself.

Eventually I tried to get back out there. And I did register to be a classified sub (classroom assistant, special education assistant) which did not require a license.  The teachers I subbed for liked me, they were interested in seeing more of me, but my heart wasn’t in it. And, as the last few posts have explained, I found a job, almost a month ago now. And I like it. It just… wasn’t the plan.

So, TSPC, I think it took me too long to understand that you were “just not that into me.” I was way down the list of priorities. I thought I was getting over it. I’ve been in a better place lately.

And then on Friday, you just had to show back up in my inbox.

My heart skipped a beat. I’ll admit it. I tried not to get my hopes up when I clicked on your email.

And there it was. My license renewal.

Four. Months. Later.

Guess what, TSPC? I’m not even a teacher anymore.

Maybe I should thank you for forcing me to realize that I could be happy with other things. Or maybe it’ll work out in the future. Who knows.

For now, I wish you the best as you work out your own issues,

And I thank you, for the closure.